Yesterday after I came off my high of finally submitting to the pulling of my spirit to start a blog... Doubt. Set. In. Questions of qualifications started to fill my head, I mean really who am I to start a blog (anyone can start one). But the blows were must deeper than just what I thought I had to say, oh no the enemy is too smart for that, you know what I began to question? My identity. Not my present one, the one that I carried with me when I walked in rebellion to God, when my words, actions, and meditations of my heart reflected a young lady who didn't know who she was, and boy, when I say I was lost, yikes, it took divine intervention in my life to help me find my way back again. (Queue my handsome husband, a gift I didn't deserve at the time, and a man filled with a gift from God, patience). If it wasn't for the words of my husband last night, the blog, Heaven on Earth's Home, would have been a one and done, a one hit wonder (was it a hit?) or maybe just another failure in my life, thank goodness two are better than one, right??! A three stand rope.
You see I kept envisioning a person that knew me during my time of rebellion, stumbling across my blog and just commenting "if you all knew this girl, who is she to talk about God". Then my playlist started to play the most fitting song... Redeemed, by Big Daddy Weave. Every time this song comes on I just can't help the tears, seriously. To always be stopped in whatever I am doing to soak in the realization of the Father's love for me. A God that is LOVE! A God that desires a relationship with me, that longs for me to have eternity with Him. His calling on my life is what has "qualified" me, not for my own words and opinions, but to have a home that is Heaven on Earth, that the word of God gets the first and last say.
Isn't just amazing that man doesn't get to decide if we are qualified. Isn't just wonderful the power of redemption. Isn't it just exhilaration to know that no matter where you are in your life that God doesn't have to be through with you yet?! I find peace in knowing that I did not qualify myself, not through works, or self proclaimed righteousness, but what qualified me is a love that sought me out to give me a life, but not just a life, but an abundant life.
After talking with my husband last night, he helped me (and by helped I mean he did it all on his own, everyone has gifts and computer stuff... Uh things?... Applications is one of his many) put a subscribe button at the bottom of my page. Yes my biggest on earth fan, believes in me and what God is doing, and he thinks people will want to hear about the daily activities that go on in a home, that is just striving to be a Kingdom house. To be apart of a family that is by no part of the definition perfect, but, we are trying to advance God's Kingdom in whatever way He wills and allows in our lives. So there you have it for today, from self sulking to on fire once again, from a blog with no subscribe button to a follow me... Well don't I just feel professional!
During all these ups and downs, I couldn't help but be reminded of the Parable of the lost son, a grand story of repentance. But not just a story of repentance but one of restoration, not according to the eyes of the world but one in accordance with a love that only our Father above could give.
The Parable of the Lost Son
Luke 15:11-3211 Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. 13 And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. 14 But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. 15 Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring[a] out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.
25 “Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’
28 “But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. 29 So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. 30 But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’
31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. 32 It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’”
***Remember that no matter where you are in life, man cannot determine your outcome, that what you have gone through or are going through, whether a lack of commitment or an addiction, if you are willing then God is able. Now realizing that can give a person some real peace****
Wonderful... I love this
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