Brothers and Sisters

Brothers and Sisters, 

It seems we are walking in a new era, one that hasn't been paved before although, people would have you believe we have been here all along. 

Brothers and Sisters,

Hate is only allowed to exist where it is not challenged. It is allowed to live in a heart that refuses to evict it. Hate cannot tolerate light, but becomes a manipulator, Masquerading as an angel of light. But, it is ALL darkness. 

Brothers and Sisters,

Deception is rampant. It is emotionally driven. It is caused by forsaking the TRUTH of The Word and substituting our own knowledge. It is at this point we will not only become divided but... We fail. We fail to be vessels, we fail to be love, we fail to be anything of light. 

Brothers and Sisters,

Haven't we been warned to be prepared for something to divide us, the media to manipulate us, for the government to persuade us. We were supposed to be on watch and guard. Looking out for one another and rebuking the tares that were sown amoung us. Yet... We have failed. 

Brothers and Sisters,

We have substituted battling In prayer against evil, to waging war on flesh and blood. We have refused to rebuke evil and stand firm in public, swaying to conformity and becoming flavorless salt. We are being trampled. By evil. 

Brothers and Sisters, 

Look at those who are being led to slaughter and taking victims with them. Stewing in their hate, claiming justice, thinking their actions are just and right, when the very actions taken contradict the Word that should be our very foundation of how we live our lives! 

Brothers and Sisters, 

We have the power to end a scheme cooked up in hell. We have the power under the authority of Jesus our KING to declare His name. But we lay this power down. Deciding instead to battle against a puppet and never even mention the puppeteer. Because of our own fear, we walk in rebellion, striking whom we feel is threatening. 

My Brothers and Sisters, 

Any action, group, or cause started out of hate, fear, or rebellion can NEVER be supported by God. He can not partner with something He hates. In a fight for our own form of justice we have taken the position of judge. A title we were NEVER meant to hold. 

My Brothers and Sisters, 

If we can lay aside our own wants and needs. To be selfless in a selfish word.  To become united when forces are trying to rip us apart. To proclaim the goodness and mercy of the Father, and give the position of King back to Jesus, then we can ultimately see truth. Justice taken into our own hands will never be true justice. We need to be willing to remove the tares among us, to stop letting their poison have influence in our lives. To speak Truth. To speak life. To speak light. In order to do this we must die to ourselves, to become a new man, experience a new birth, to turn away from our old lives and have the will of the Father become our want, our desire, our concern. We must stop fighting flesh and blood and believe the Word of God. To battle in the spirit, because rulers of the darkness and spiritual wickedness in high places is what is manipulating ALL that we see right now. We have allowed evil to walk in power, completely unchallenged. 

My Beloved Brothers and Sisters,

Love is my motivation for writing you all. Love is my concern watching fellow brothers and sisters be tools for darkness, being so deceived that they believe they are doing good. The Church, The Body of Christ, His Bride, needs to rise up in unison, with one voice, with one accord, with the will of The Father its mission. To confront evil. To remember that prayer is POWERFUL. To show the world... 

                      We. Are. One.   

My Wrecked Heart

How many of you know that the best kind of wrecked heart, is a heart when God is the one doing the wrecking? When God comes in and shines light on all the dark areas of your heart, parts that hid fear, resentment, parts that hid lies from the enemy that became truth to you, because you came into agreement.

When God wrecked my heart, over these past few days, He exposed something that I was unaware of... The truth was... I was really worried that God would not provide for what He has called. I was scared that if I walked the path that was designated for me, that I would be left alone, secluded.

Home school my kids? Am I ready? Can I really home school my children? Father, how many kids do you plan on blessing us with? Three I think I could handle, but you have given us a heart for a large family, so I'm not for sure why You continue to guide me and place it on my heart to home school.

Father, don't you see that I'll be secluded, and SO different, and to be honest this isn't what I really had planned on, I wanted to be that mom that was very active and involved in school, and I don't think that i'll be able to find the connection that I want through home schooling my children. I mean Lord, You made me a social butterfly. Plus, will my kids be weird?? (My lowest point), this beautiful broken point is when the Holy Spirit just flooded the presence of the room, a wave of absolute love came pouring over me, clarity dissolved every fear that I had....

The spirit told me “They will not be weird, they will be followers of God, They will have a heart for God, to stand in turth, they will not just know of God, they will have an understanding (not a complete) of the love their Father has for them. They will look toward the bigger picture, with a charge of purity over their lives.”

But Lord, I wanted to change the world for you! “My child, you already are. Will you let your fears keep you from all that I have for you? Fear sometimes masquerades as wisdom.”

The problem that I was experiencing, is that I was allowing fear to masquerade as wisdom, I thought me questioning my ability and the situations was a mark of wisdom. But when God calls you to do something, and you begin to question, you aren't questioning yourself, you are questioning the Lords ability to change you to accomplish His purpose, The Lord can do a lot with a surrendered heart. The moment your personal knowledge contradicts the truth that the Lord has spoken over your life, you have to make a decision. Either bring your person knowledge under the authority of the Almighty, or you come into agreement with a lie, and miss out on what the Lord has prepared beforehand.

There can only be ONE holder of your heart, if your heart is only partially held by the Lord, then you will only partially walk the path that was created for you. When God holds our heart we don't continue to go against His world, He writes His laws on our hearts, we must become a new man. If we continue to to walk against the Truth of the Lord, we are not sons, we are slaves. We remain slaves despite the fact that our freedom was purchased with blood, despite the fact that the price has been paid, by the Son of God.

Until God's delight, until God's appluse, until God's acceptance is ALL that matters, we will continue to walk in response to the world, not in response to the Father. As my grandpa says, “Lord, I'll sleep under a tree and eat beans, doesn't matter to me, I'll go wherever you want, I'll do whatever you want.”

If we have a yielded heart... We will produce the fruit of the Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit will be what changes the world, it is what the world is craving to see, it is what the world is lacking, leaving heart break and brokeness. We must stop being fruitless, we were never meant to walk without producing a good harvest. We have to reexamine our lives and ask, is this season I am in producing good fruit? And if it isn't cry out to the Lord, to turn from being slaves, to sons who produce good fruit.

Galatians 5:22-26

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”

Let us stop living under the works of the flesh (Gal. 5:19-21) we are told that those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Father,

I pray you touch each life that reads this, that you expose those dark areas of the heart, that only You can infiltrate, causing a repented heart to come upon each person, so each has a change in their way of thinking. That the Holy Spirit, fills the room of those reading and draws a line in the sand. Saying, the time is now. The decision is now, to let go of each of these dark areas of the heart, to release the bondage that has made them slaves to the flesh and pour out the love of The Father, showing the price that has been paid. Father, leave a hunger and thrust with each person, to touch their lives and give a heart of thanksgiving even in the darkest of seasons. Remind each of us that we have a responsibility to produce good fruit, turning from the old man and being made new. Abba, Father, not of us, not of our own strength, but from a place of Sons, in which You, the Almighty want to partner, to complete good works. All this in Jesus name, Glory to you God.

A time for change

GOOD MORNING! Well my trusted followers (which I actually think is around EIGHT people now) it has been awhile since we have last talked, and a LOT has happened!! We have moved to a new job, went on a few mini vacations (due to being laid off), and even survived a (not so confirmed) tornado! And of course for the most exciting news.... We will be welcoming baby number THREE sometime in December!!!! Life has been ever changing as God leads the Hatten family into new seasons, changing our hearts to reflect His, and exposing areas that aren't in accordance to the best our Father has for us! Today, I'll share a bit about the struggles I've been experiencing and the dominate power of the truth of God that gets us all through our current battles, amen!

Who doesn't want a peace filled home, a home that reflects Jesus' prayer "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven" to have this be a reality. Well, this Kingdom home has been a long process, and one in which... to be honest is still a work in progress. A lot of failure has gone into pursing peace in my home, mistakes galore have been made, and the majority of these mistakes stem from taking a worldly perspective on peace, parenting, and marriage. It is EASY to walk in worldly "wisdom" when you are NOT refreshing your mind with the truth found in the Word of God. 

I've had several dry periods in my life as a result of taking this worldly perspective. I'll be on fire for God one week, and then, to be honest... Struggling to devote myself to quality time with The Creator. The Creator who created me to have a longing, a longing ONLY HE COULD FILL. (Just to be clear, I don't mean a devotion in a legalistic way, but in one that builds faith, that puts truth in your spirit, and is constantly reminding of the love the Lord has for us.) It is important to stay in the Word because it contains TRUTH, LIFE, and LIGHT. 

A lack of self discipline and a lack of making sure that my life is a reflection of the will of the Father has caused peace to be... well hard to come by. Because I have allowed my heart to take on the "truths" of the world, it was no longer in accordance with the Fathers will, and ALL my labor was vain labor. Here lately, I have done a lot of vain labor, that has left me spiritually empty and naturally exhausted. What happens is, we take our life (which should bring glory to God) and we put it in order of the world, because the world, not the Word has become the normal. We are fed lies every time we turn on the tv, go to the grocery store, and turn on the radio. We have become so busy, scheduled, and exhausted that we aren't replacing these lies with the truth. We battle in the flesh instead of submitting in the spirit. The battle that is waging in the heavenly places, is after one thing, you. After your mind, your time, your heart, spirit, and soul.

Satan, marked with all deceit, has attempted to convince many that wisdom comes from anywhere and everywhere... Except your bible! Want marriage advice? Need instruction on parenting? We need to search out the Word FIRST, then with our eyes set on the spiritual world, (on heavenly things) look to change our situation in the natural. The bible is not an outdated book, that was only applicable 2,000 + years ago, the God that is written in it, is the same today as He was yesterday, as He has always been. Peace and rest both come through Jesus, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; NOT AS THE WORLD GIVES do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27). If we are constantly seeking peace through the world it is hard to "set our mind on things above, not on things on earth" (Colossians 3:2)

We need to be world CHANGERS not world SEEKERS. This all starts with a change of heart, to live in response to The Father, and not in response to the world. To seek the Lord diligently, because He promises He will be found.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And if there be any wicked way in me, lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-34) I love this scripture, there are parts of our hearts that we are blinded to, but the One can reveal it to us, and we can be lead in the way of life. God doesn't just point out our wickedness and abandon us, He is willing to lead us to brighter and better days. Days of peace filled home, days of the glory of God invading the earth, days of Christians instead of cowering awaiting the second coming, rising up and converting Kingdoms to the Kingdom of God!

Let us all walk in the good works that the Lord has planned for us, so that God might receive glory!!! no job is ever too small nor too big for the Kingdom of God!

A Cure for Fear

The cure for fear

Oh, fear. An old acquaintance. There is a lot I could say about fear, we used to spend a lot of time together, long nights, day dreams, quiet time. We were inseparable. Fear infiltrated my very being, it sought out and conquered every inch of me; choking me to the point of suffocation, only to allow me to gasp for air so I could continue to be a host. Fear also brought company... worry, anxiety, frustration, they partnered together so well, working as a unit, they thrived on consuming my every thought and dictated my every action. Fear made me useless to the Kingdom of God and not a factor against the kingdom of darkness, because I chose to walk in fear, I retreated and cowardly cast inward. My thoughts were of defeat. I had lost every battle before it began, all because fear makes an ant hill look like a mountain. Oh, fear. I'm so thankful you have lost. 

Fear is an interesting opponent in life, isn't it? Powerless without permission and yet mighty with consent. It's not hard to find fear. When under religion, you begin to feel defeated because of a man made doctrine. The truth becomes mans truth, a powerless God (until the end), a redeeming Son (that didn't bring a Kingdom), a Sprit of conviction... But never power. Half truths that have infiltrated churches around the world, rendering Gods children powerless. Equipping its members to be sheep among wolves, but unlike Jesus' disciple, these sheep are unprepared and unarmed. There is no power that follows their gospel. 

I think my favorite part of church growing up, would be the bible stories. The miraculous move of God through ordinary people who simply submitted to His will in their lives. I remember receiving these stories as whole truths, and leaving feeling the empowering of the Holy Spirit within me. I would dream of an opportunity in which God would make his presence know through me. That mighty God would choose to act, using someone as simple as me, to accomplish something where glory would be given to the Kingdom of God (I didn't know of the Kingdom yet, but I hungered for it). I remember longing to grow up, to be able to hop on a plane to Africa (I've always loved the thought of going to Africa, I don't know why, but I have) because God had called me to raise some people from the dead and deliver to them the good news. (What raise people from the dead??? That doesn't happen anymore... Right?) Or perhaps seeing a need... A person in need of healing, needing food, needing money and be able to allow the glory of God to be shown, the power of His Kingdom established. 

But... When I grew up, you know what happened instead, I grew out of my faith. I started to rationalize stories like Jonah as simply figurative, Daniel and the Lions den as too far fetched, Jesus rasing someone from the dead as only to show His anointing, Paul healing people, only to establish the foundation of the early church. Or reasoning with myself that we are no longer in the presence of miracles. After all when you grow up and experience "life" the safety and power of the bible seems less and less real. The future kingdom mentality is easier to live with, then the responsibility of having a kingdom mind here and now. To realize that my faith is weak, my devotion is subpar, and the time spent buying into the cares of the world, is triple the time spent meditating on the things of God. It's so simple to allow the enemy to come in and deceive you, to put the power of God on hold until a later time, to be choked by the cares of the world and the message lost.

As a child its easy to believe the bible and its glory and power, because we take the word for truth. Wether we now rationalize in our own minds the stories of the bible or not, we must see that there are some unmistakably simple truths about God. Nothing is impossible for God. God is sovereign. God is constantly using the willing. And God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 

So what is this cure for fear? 

1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." That is one powerful statement! "He who fears has not been made perfect in love." How many of us have not been made perfect in love? John goes on to explain that this love was manifested towards us in the sending of His Son into the world, that we might live through Him. To have Him live through us, we must go and see what He says about what most of us fear about, our daily needs, which is in Matthew 6:25-33.
²⁵ “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
²⁸ “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; ²⁹ and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
³¹ “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

We see here that what so many of us have been missing all along is THE KINGDOM. We choose religion over the truth, we walk around without what Jesus said He would provide because we have lost sight of The Kingdom, "because when we make what Jesus said a religion we take away its power, we become slaves instead of allowing God to turn us into Kings".

A lot of this comes down to a choice. A choice to stand for truth despite backlash, to want to pursue and press forward, in the face of resistance. To be willing to run against the grain, and be rejected. In all of this, what a wonderful reminder that there are others growing as well, believing the truth, a fine harvest for the Lord. I have found that the more I grow in God, that everything in my life has changed. Friendships have ended, my mindset has changed, I no longer feel a need to fit into the world. I am willing to surrender all that I have unto the King, to become a part of His Kingdom. The cure for fear? To become a citizen in the Kingdom, to be transferred into the Kingdom of God (Col. 1:13). 

There is no flesh in the Kingdom, when we are transferred into the Kingdom, all that we have and all that we are becomes the Kings. We are ruled and governed by The King, not by the world. There is true freedom when we understand that the message Jesus  brought was one about a King and His Kingdom. 

Just a Mom

It's funny how life works really. The full spectrum of it all, from sleepless nights to busy days, cooking and cleaning, vacuuming and mopping... It's a busy, full time job, with no pay. My strive for worldly perfection at motherhood has left me tired and exhausted, once again laying at the feet of my Father defeated. But it is in these quiet moments of defeat, that I am emptied of myself, that I understand the depth of what my Creator wants for me. 

I have many short comings, ones I didn't even realize I had, but when you seek the Father, He brings to light certain areas that need to change. Mine, was a call to motherhood. I find it interesting that society doesn't equate motherhood as a calling, but as a burden. As a stay at home mother, I've even felt judge by some in the Christian community. I've heard women without children (I myself have felt this way) wonder why others gave up on what God called them to do, just to be a mother. And, if your not deeply rooted you begin to wonder... Why wasn't I changing the world in a school or being a CEO for God or having a bigger platform... Being Somewhere doing something that would bring glory to God. All mothers everywhere can laugh. Rasing children is important. What's funny, I have never felt more over qualified and so unprepared for a job, as I did when I first entered motherhood. 

You see the stuff like, picking up after little kids, changing diapers, dumping out potty chairs, wiping away throw up, staying up during a sickness, you know all those things didn't require a college degree. But at the same time of my self seeking flesh, I also felt very vulnerable, because I had to be an example 24/7. Who I truly was, and the real state of my heart couldn't be hidden, here I am, an imperfect person attempting to raise two beautiful babies, ones that haven't been affected by the harshness of the world... Except... When I would fail. I would love to say I never raised my voice to my children, I would love to say I never disciplined out of anger, I would love to say that after being up all night and all day for two days because both kids were sick and my husband was at work that I was the Brady Bunch mom, but in reality... I was Mommy Dearest. Just kidding, but I did feel like I was going crazy. While the time my kids were sick has long past, the struggled that I've continued to encounter as a mother has not, and here at the feet of God, wallowing and defeated (or so I thought), truth began to pour over me. 

He made me rise, not out of His presence but out of my state of mind. In Christ I cannot be a failure. With a home dedicated to the advancing of the Kingdom of God, I can't live in defeat. So here is where I learned, that I haven't shed as much of my flesh as I had thought. I'm here being a mother, because right now that is what God has called me to to do, and reminded me that children are a blessing an actual gift from God. (Ps 127:3) and if rasing children is my only job in the Kingdom, I'm blessed! 

Was I over worked? Yes, but only  because I was adding to what God called. Was I tired? Yes, of course I was because I chose not to rest, physically and spiritually. Was I worn out? Yes would be an understatement, I allowed the worlds expectations of motherhood to cloud what I felt God was calling me to do. 

So here as I watch videos in silence as to not wake the sleeping babies, I see how much I've really missed. I see the blessing and gifts I have been to preoccupied to enjoy. All because of what I thought a mother should be. The enjoyment of my children had been stolen from me because I became obsessed with the "Pinterest" life style. The perfect home, the perfect meals... The perfect life.

I was consumed with making sure my home was deep cleaned daily (You know, how people do spring cleaning??? Yes I did that everyday), I made all three meals and snacks from scratch (Not knocking this, if you can do it more power to you... It is a little harder to do in a fifth wheel), I never took a break... Ever, when it was offered I'd turn it down. What good mom needs a break right... Oh how little I knew. I was more concerned with the appearance of the perfect life than I was bringing up Kingdom children. 

As I was crying to my husband telling him that I didn't feel accomplished today, he said "You can't accomplish everything everyday." We went on to discuss what mattered and what was important, and in the end I realized that I can accomplish what God has set out for me, but the other stuff that I added on, not only does it not matter but it is unattainable. So as I approach my toddler, I scoop her into my arms and tell her " mommy is sorry today wasn't a good day..." She set her Legos down, looked up at me in surprise and said "today was a good day mommy". I was taken back a little. I thought I failed today, we didn't do the things we normally do, and yet she said it was a good day, I asked her what she liked about the day, and you know what!? It was all the things we did together. The quiet times, holding her in my lap, reading to her, pretending to go shopping, coloring, when we danced in the living room, when I chased them, when we ran outside... If only I could say that these adventures were the majority of our day or that this is how our everyday goes; But they don't, it was a few minutes here and there that these memories were made. 

However, with a fresh mindset, I realize I will not let the blessings and gifts that my children are to be taken from me.

In reality a home surrendered is a beautiful experience. No matter what I face in life, that God be at the center of it all. That I am never alone and it is here I find purpose in my life, simply because I know that the Lord has plans for my life, the life of my family. I can rest in the fact that this is His home, and me? I'm just following the manual he has set out for me. When we can take a step back and examine our life, and hold it against the statues of the Lord, not only it is sobering where we are failing, but it is awakening. We see that God wants the best for us, that what we go through many times is actually molding us, shaping us into better vessels, we are being refined by the fire. When we get to a point where all that matters is what God says, there is freedom. We aren't bound to the thoughts and concerns of the world, we are willing to do and say all that God calls. Even if it means we lose friends, even if we lose materials, even if we lose what we held as important. 

 I will not allow something as unattainable as a "Pinterest" life to be a thief. I will not compare my life to others, only seeing a portion of what is their reality. No not today Satan. Not today flesh. Not today world. You know why? Because today I'm not just a mom, I am my children's mother. And to be honest, I can't think of a better job in the world. 

The Mind of a Citizen

The hard times. I think most of us have been there at one point or another in our lives, the “dark valley”. As a mother and wife I can say that I have had those times in my life, thankfully this season isn't one, and when I look back at those times it's with a different set of eyes and ears, a renewed heart and mind. Seeing the changes that God has been developing in me over time, it really is quite fascinating. Don't get me wrong, I still go through some tough times in my life, while I am blessed to have the life that I do, it isn't a perfect one. Nor am I perfect in any sense of the way. But with that being said I need to tell all of you the amazing transformation that has taken place in my mind. It has changed my entire outlook on life, it has changed my day to day decisions, it has changed everything. That is... The MIND OF A CITIZEN. There is a peace that can not be explainable and joy that is unquenchable. So there is still hope, there can still be restoration, He can change you.

But first, here is how I got to the point where I am now...

My life was falling apart, my marriage was failing, I was failing as a mother, and my relationship with the Lord, subpar at best. I mean what wife or mother doesn't long for peace, not only a self peace, but a peace within their home. For a long time my home was filled with turmoil. It was not a happy place, not one filled with joy, it seemed like everything was falling apart, and sadly I was convinced that in the end the falling apart of what I knew in my life would bring me peace. I began to find contentment in the fact that I would no longer be in a marriage (ever again) and that somehow this would be what was best for my kids. I was tired of fighting. This is what happened and the conclusions I came to by being self absorbed with my own wants and my own ways. I contemplated the idea of what would make me happy using my own reasoning, (and in turn got nowhere) I was at the center of my universe and I was exhausted. It was here that the Lord kindly, lovingly, and gently showed me that with me at the center I would never have peace, I would never be happy, and I would never fulfill the works that He created for me to walk in. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts. Nor are your ways My ways.” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than you thoughts.”. So you see, as long as I was relying on my own knowledge and on my own abilities, I was going to continually fail. I was going to keep ending up in this dark valley that I had been roaming around in for way too long.

As I began to search for real joy, a true contentment, (This time entrusting the Lord to lead me) John 10:10 came into my heart “The thief does not come EXCEPT to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” (emphasis mine) Yikes, while that can be intimidating, I was then reminded of James 4:7 “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” Here's the thing, first, I was not submitting myself to the Lord, I wanted to serve up some of my own personal judgment, because forgiveness didn't seem like something I wanted to do (But boy did I need forgiveness). However, at this time holding onto anger and frustration was easier in my eyes then surrendering them and taking responsibility in my relationship with God. I preferred to have an excuse for why I acted the way I did, why I was so frustrated and so tired, I didn't to take any blame. If I was rude it was because someone did something to me, if I was short tempered it was because I had been pushed too far, it was never me. So ... By no means was I resisting the the devil, in fact I was inviting him into my home, with every rude comment, every face made, every selfish desire. As the Lord showed me that the current state of my life had more to do with me, my own actions and decisions, and less to do with those around, it was something that I wasn't ready to face, and so didn't for some time. (Isn't it funny how we say we want to be happy but wont seek the Giver of all joy?) 

Thankfully...

Something happens when you spend time with God, the more time you spend with Him, the more you take on His characteristics and the more your mind meditates on the Word (without effort). And here, in the comfort of the Word, prompting of the Spirit, and guidance of the Father, I found a peace that consumed my entire being. It was a complete reliance on the Lord, a surrender of everything I had, and It felt amazing, beyond anything I had ever experienced. My desire became to fulfill what God has set aside for me, my wants became aligned with His will. All because I became a citizen of the Kingdom. I wanted to advance the Lord reign on earth starting within my own home. My rest and assurance could be found in the Father, why? Because what He has for this little family is exactly what I want. The pressure to forge my own way, to create my own path, to plan my own destiny... Gone. All that I had became the Lords. My husband, my kids, my life. Finally, yes finally for the first time in my entire life, I. Was. Free. (Can I get an amen here?!?!?!) In freedom there is a joy that satan cannot steal. No matter how much tentsion or temptation may arise, and even if you stumble for a second, the deepest desires of the heart is to please God. My mind and heart were aligned with my spirit, God's rule and reign would be permanent, Jesus our forever King. Us... Sons and daughters.

For a long time I thought there was no hope, God couldn't save my marriage (He redeemed it, and made it stronger than it has ever been), He couldn't make me a better mother (He already started too), and He couldn't bring me true happiness (and yet somehow He did). The dark valley that I had been treading around in was of my own choice, the wallowing of my life became a safe place that I wasn't happy in, all because it was familiar. I've known so many people who stay in the dark valleys. Who aren't ready to surrender it all to God for different reasons, and who find people who encourage them to stay there, misery loves company.

 BBBUUUUTTTT... You can make a choice, to have life more abundantly now. You can choose to be apart of the message Jesus came preaching, "... 'I must preach the kingdom of God' (Continuing on) 'For this purpose I have been sent'". You can choose to walk in a peace and not fear, submitting yourself to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. You can choose to walk in a boldness that isn't superficial (like the worlds) but one that carries authority internally outward. Acts 4:31 "After the prayer, the meeting place shook, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit. Then they preached the word of God with boldness." Once we got out of our own way, seeking the Lord, He will answer. Our great Father will never force His will upon you, He will never make you walk in all the plans that He has for you, simply, if you are willing He is able.

Lastly,

James 4:8 "Draw near to the Lord and He will draw near to you." Choose today to draw near to God, because God drawing near to you, is one of the greatest experiences in this life.

Surprise flowers from the husband... God is great y'all! 

The House Built on Sand

Have you ever felt the conviction of God, and I mean the deep kind. The break down and cry, knees hit the floor, eyes finally opened, "how have I been so blind" conviction. And note, not the pretty crying, but the cry where your kids start freaking out because your sobbing. Yeah, the one right after you have built yourself up self righteously? Started comparing sin, "I may have done this but I would never do that" or the making excuses one, "only reason I did that is because you did this". Well it happens, and it happened to me yesterday. Let me level with y'all, I'm struggling. Crawling along at this point, or maybe God is just carrying me, although with my attitude I'd say its more of a dragging. Just kidding. But seriously.


My husbands working 70+ hours a week right now (he does windmills) and we made the decision long ago that we all go. We do this as a family. And I'm sure some people will say, been there done that (successfully), well I'm just now here, and doing that, and by that I mean for dinner my kid ate the crumbs from his car seat. Totally kidding, he had oatmeal, but did snack on a few treasures that were from his secret stash while they played happily in the car (parked). MY KIDS LOVE PLAYING IN THE CAR.

But back to the opening of the eyes. I can be a selfish person, especially when it comes to the structure I like to have. I like structure, my kids thrive in structure. My husband, laid back, easy going, go with the flow kinda guy. (Can you see where I'm going?) I can also be self righteous. Ironic really, especially seeing as the Lord saved me from a sin filled life. (Really easy to go down this road with the martyr mentality.) And finally, I seem to forget who my provider is, for ALL things in my life. Ladies, you hear me? I know I'm not alone right? Looking to your husband for happiness? Contentment? Joy? All these pieces began to fit perfectly in the Janelle's About to Lose it puzzle.

Then, BAM, I lost it. It was bad, ugly, my husband got it, my kids saw it. I was the only one who didn't. Nope not yet, I thought I had a right to act the way I did. I thought I was completely justified.... Yikes. The house I built on sand, man did it ever come down hard, with a slam. But you see, while everyone else saw what I did and knew that it wasn't right, I still didn't. I was relishing in my outburst, I felt good about what I said, until... "Mommy? Can you not yell anymore, it really scares me." My sweet three year old, but didn't she understand, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't me at all. Didn't she get that I was exhausted (come to me all who labor and are weary I will give you rest Mt. 11:28), that I was stressed out (peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you John 14:27), that I wasn't the first to be rude (be slow to anger James 1:20), it wasn't the first time either (keep no record of wrong 1 Cor. 13:5), and that I just couldn't handle it any more. I, I, I..... Enter my eyes being opened. It hit me. I had seen the abundance of my heart, because boy did my mouth have a lot to say. My tongue was not tamed.

I scooped up my baby girl, crying, telling her that "mommy had been wrong, mommy hadn't been focusing on God, mommy wasn't being nice like Jesus said, mommy should have stopped and went to God, just like I tell you to do. You see baby girl, mommy needs Jesus now just as much as I ever have, mommy is not perfect, mommy still needs forgiveness. Will you pray with me?"

You see, it doesn't matter what happened, what matters is how I acted and what they all saw. I had done the complete opposite of what I'm trying to teach my kids. We are responsible for our own actions. The truth is, if I had been focusing on God then none of this would have happened. If I had been taking my request to Him, seeking Him, knocking, this wouldn't have happened. Isn't it something that Jesus was always where he was supposed to be? That He was lead by the Spirit here, or there, all because He was committed to the will of the Father. If I've committed my life to the will of the Father, if I want His will in my life and the life of my family, then I need to allow the Spirit to guide me in my life. Not just in what jobs my husband takes, but in my daily activities, the small things, because my daughter watches everything, she sees my attitude when I wash dishes, pick up after my husband at times, and she definitely sees the tone in which I speak to him. If I continue to be so tied down to how I think my life should go and don't allow the Spirit to guide me anywhere, then what am I really telling my kids? That they should allow to be lead by the Spirit only if it fits into their life, as long as it doesn't mess up their daily routines? Don't get me wrong, I believe structure is important, but I don't think you should become a slave to anything, including schedules.


It really is pretty simply isn't it? To make a daily decision in your life of who is King? To decide what will rule over you, or who will reign through you? It's not about trying to be perfect, but allowing the Spirit to guide me and submitting to His ways over my flesh, one step at a time. So no matter where you find yourself today, whether your the mom who blew up or the dad who didn't respond in kindness, there is always forgiveness. Be quick to make things right and don't let the sun go down while your still angry. You see I didn't have to swallow my pride to apologize, because I'm allowing the Holy Spirit to purge me of something God hates.

I am committed to being a wise woman, a woman who listens to the words of Jesus and does them. A house built on a rock. A Kingdom home that is seeking the Perfecter in all things!

Matthew 7:24-27
²⁴ “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: ²⁵ and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.
²⁶ “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: ²⁷ and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.” 

Qualified...?

Well wouldn't cha just know it...

Yesterday after I came off my high of finally submitting to the pulling of my spirit to start a blog... Doubt. Set. In. Questions of qualifications started to fill my head, I mean really who am I to start a blog (anyone can start one). But the blows were must deeper than just what I thought I had to say, oh no the enemy is too smart for that, you know what I began to question? My identity. Not my present one, the one that I carried with me when I walked in rebellion to God, when my words, actions, and meditations of my heart reflected a young lady who didn't know who she was, and boy, when I say I was lost, yikes, it took divine intervention in my life to help me find my way back again. (Queue my handsome husband, a gift I didn't deserve at the time, and a man filled with a gift from God, patience). If it wasn't for the words of my husband last night, the blog, Heaven on Earth's Home, would have been a one and done, a one hit wonder (was it a hit?) or maybe just another failure in my life, thank goodness two are better than one, right??! A three stand rope.

You see I kept envisioning a person that knew me during my time of rebellion, stumbling across my blog and just commenting "if you all knew this girl, who is she to talk about God". Then my playlist started to play the most fitting song... Redeemed, by Big Daddy Weave. Every time this song comes on I just can't help the tears, seriously. To always be stopped in whatever I am doing to soak in the realization of the Father's love for me. A God that is LOVE! A God that desires a relationship with me, that longs for me to have eternity with Him. His calling on my life is what has "qualified" me, not for my own words and opinions, but to have a home that is Heaven on Earth, that the word of God gets the first and last say.

Isn't just amazing that man doesn't get to decide if we are qualified. Isn't just wonderful the power of redemption. Isn't it just exhilaration to know that no matter where you are in your life that God doesn't have to be through with you yet?! I find peace in knowing that I did not qualify myself, not through works, or self proclaimed righteousness, but what qualified me is a love that sought me out to give me a life, but not just a life, but an abundant life.

After talking with my husband last night, he helped me (and by helped I mean he did it all on his own, everyone has gifts and computer stuff... Uh things?... Applications is one of his many) put a subscribe button at the bottom of my page. Yes my biggest on earth fan, believes in me and what God is doing, and he thinks people will want to hear about the daily activities that go on in a home, that is just striving to be a Kingdom house. To be apart of a family that is by no part of the definition perfect, but, we are trying to advance God's Kingdom in whatever way He wills and allows in our lives. So there you have it for today, from self sulking to on fire once again, from a blog with no subscribe button to a follow me... Well don't I just feel professional!

During all these ups and downs, I couldn't help but be reminded of the Parable of the lost son, a grand story of repentance. But not just a story of repentance but one of restoration, not according to the eyes of the world but one in accordance with a love that only our Father above could give.

The Parable of the Lost Son

^{Luke 15:11-32
11} Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. ¹² And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. ¹³ And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. ¹⁴ But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. ¹⁵ Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. ¹⁶ And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
¹⁷ “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! ¹⁸ I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, ¹⁹ and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
²⁰ “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. ²¹ And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring^[a] out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. ²³ And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; ²⁴ for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.
²⁵ “Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. ²⁷ And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’
²⁸ “But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. ³⁰ But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’
³¹ “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. ³² It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’”



***Remember that no matter where you are in life, man cannot determine your outcome, that what you have gone through or are going through, whether a lack of commitment or an addiction, if you are willing then God is able. Now realizing that can give a person some real peace****

Welcome

Hello all,
By all I most likely mean the one follower I hope to have by the end of the day, thanks mom! This will actually be my fourth attempt at a blog, between travel (for my husbands job, not leisure) and the active kiddos, I just cant seem to stay committed, and in turn my accounts keep getting deactivated, so Heaven on Earth's Home it is!
So... A little bit about me, I have been married four years to a handsome and hardworking man that makes it possible for me to stay at home taking care of our sweet babies. Speaking of babies, we have two littles, three and one, girl and boy, completely different in everyway, and both deeply loved by all they come in contact with, God gave them beautiful hearts. And lastly we have a 145+ lbs Saint Bernard. My life really isn't so interesting that I believe people will want to hear what I have to say, but the more I prayed the more I felt lead by the Spirit to start a blog. Hence why I am here, at the counter typing away before nap time, it must be God because my kids are actually letting me have some time while they play in the room (quietly and nicely).
God has slowly been changing my heart, giving me passions and desires, for the things that He has called me to do and making the things which I thought I wanted in life mean nothing. By revelation I'm beginning to see that I am advancing God's Kingdom, one dirty diaper at a time, one kissed "owee", another coloring page, and too many hugs and kisses throughout the day to count. But what does count is that I am here and present to my calling, that I give as much attention to detail to the laundry that I would have as if I were the marketing president of a huge corporation (old dream).  
I want to bring Heaven to Earth within my home, to have God's Kingdom be the rule and reign, the final word, and it would seem that I am to share this part of my life.
Actually, im a bit excited, to have a door open that God can use to reach others and in turn have others reach me, so that we can all share the part of God's Kingdom that we posses and continue to advance it, especially in a world that is more than willing to shut the Lord out, I'm happy to be able to invite Him in. So welcome to my not so perfect, but purposed life, just a mom trying to bring Heaven to Earth within her home.

Matthew 6:33
"But seek first the KINGDOM OF GOD and HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, and all these things shall be added to you." (Emphases mine)

Note, having to post before I can edit, so please be kind, nap time waits for no blogger, or maybe its just me.